Bury Me Please in the Puget Sound
Bury me please in the Puget Sound
There'll be waves as shackles a'holdin' me down
There'll be no struggle nor shameful whisper of doubt
Just bury me please in the Sound
Let me down peacefully on the rocks
Let the tide roll over and carry my thoughts
Hundreds of miles between me and any other dock
So let me down please on the rocks
I never learned how to write you the way that I wanted
Your ending was one I had not foreseen
Feeding the hope when you know it's what you don't need
So I'll sit alone and wait for the sea
To bury me
Follow me please to where summers lay
Where the waves stay steady and crash through the day
Life with no clock is a life that keeps you at bay
So follow me where summers lay
I never learned how to paint you the way that I wanted
Your colors seeped into the trees
My canvas, blank, conveniently left you in August
So I'll sit alone and wait for the sea
To bury me
Coming Home to Someone New
What to say when the orange smoke blows away your face
What to write when I'm tired
Who to go to when I'm fine in my own space
What to do when I'm alive
How strange I can decide how I live and when I die
If it's time to disappear
And I'm thinking about
Coming home to someone new
Letting all the light come through
Writing real and writing true
And leaving the low
Breaking through my windowpane
Being set with all the blame
Feeling my bones caress my frame
And making it home
The way my shoes sink into the ground when I walk
Makes me feel the way I used to feel when I'd hear you talk
Like I'm walking ten times higher than I am
Like I'm selfishly finally feeling like myself again
How strange I can decide where to go when to arrive
Or if I even want to stay
And I'm thinking about
Coming home to someone new
Letting all the light come through
Writing real and writing true
And leaving the low
Falling over myself more
Putting locks on broken doors
Being fine with the settled score
And letting it go
And I wonder if you'll ever come back
Or if you'll listen to this track because the title might intrigue you
I wonder if you think of me
I wonder if you feel free because I know that you want to
I know that you want to
Coming home to someone new
White-Capped Glee
Fall came o'er the water as the night bled into day
I followed close behind her as she led my world astray
Who could have ever known the dangerous secrets kept onboard?
And jealousy with white-capped glee struck down the final chord
The portraits in the galley overflowed a deep, red wine
The clocks that had once ticked had since run out of all their time
The captain and his anchor held on tight to see the day
And yet her duty called and she was lost beneath the waves
Emergency evacuation sounded through the crowd
But she who was not listening devoted all her doubt
The ever-aching groan that overcame her as she fell
Was something never heard before as all old stories tell
And so the story goes that she went down and she went low
But I have always fought to find out what I did not know
The drinking and the rivalry that flooded down those halls
Was stronger than the waves that overcame and let her fall
Screaming at the ocean when you lose the one you love
Felt as though the sun upon my skin had come undone
Like winter waves and tall cascades could take me with one swipe
And following you down below would only make this right
Write Me In One Of Your Songs
I'll make a promise you know I can't keep
But if the words themselves will put your mind at ease
I'll make it twice, I'll write down my vices
I'll tell you you're right about what my life is
I won't remember you when I've grown old
I won't remember a single story you've told
Washed out and drained, you know my name
Nothing beats fame, except for the game
Don't you dare ever come back
Don't you dare leave me alone
I forgot about you, and I'm sorry
I know I did something wrong
I'll write you in one of my songs
I've held you down and I've kept you as mine
Close to my heart and my body and home and self and time
In and out of pages you write down your hatred
We're not related, but we feel the same
Don't you dare ever come back
I'll never leave you alone
I won't forget about you, don't be sorry
You'll never do nothing wrong
Write me in one of your songs
Don't you dare ever come back (Don't you dare ever come back)
Don't you dare leave me alone (I'll never leave you alone)
I forgot about you (I won't forget about you), and I'm sorry
I know I did something wrong
I wrote you in all of my songs
Headed Up North
This winter's been too long and cold
I've been stuck in the snow
No more fires to stoke
These town lines just don't get me going
The cascades cut to the bone
So I'm leaving alone
There ain't much I need from you
Just a fond farewell, bid me adieu
Standing on the side of the railroad tracks
Headed up north and I won't come back
Honey, just don't follow the tracks I leave
And this is how I cope with
Hating bad where I grew up
Letting myself live on luck
Being close to giving up that's why
I'm headed up north again
I've got all I need with me
And where I long to be
Goes from Sound to sea
I hop on right beneath the trees
My cigarette with ease
Lights up all the leaves
There ain't much I need to say
Just say goodbye and get out of my way
Standing on the side of the railroad tracks
Headed up north and I won't come back
Honey, just don't follow the tracks I leave
And this is all I have to show for
Leaving you with my old guitar
Thing's worth more than my broken heart
I need some time to be apart from you
So I'm headed up north again
I'm headed up north again
I'm headed up north again
Go Where You Go
Told the trees that I miss you
They said they do too
Told them I'd be home soon
They said follow this through
Told the trees about your hometown
And how the roads made me feel
How the tires on the dry ground
Made what we had real
So darling, come and grab your guitar
You're gonna go really far
And I'm gonna see you shine
Darling, I'm in for a while
You carry the world in your smile
And I wanna go where you go
Told Boston I need you
She said be patient, be kind
But I wanna know you
And take up your time
So darling, come and grab your guitar
You're gonna go really far
And I'm gonna see you shine
Darling, I'm in for a while
You carry the world in your smile
And I wanna go where you go
On For Sleep (Interlude)
I'll miss holding my breath when a sea plane flies over
I'll miss biting my tongue when the kids are asleep
I'll miss talking with you about how hard it is to be sober
I'll miss laying with you while our hands burn with freckles we keep
I'll miss you and your water-colored heart and the way you say good morning
I'll miss how I watched as you flew like a bird in the wind
Oh, I'll miss all the brush strokes and colors that you brought with no warning
And I'll miss how we danced in the smoke and screamed this is the end
Elba
If I ask will you be honest?
Your hands and my head out the window felt like a promise
Not a bump in the road could've crashed us
And not a measure of time could feel like enough
Elba, please, keep my heart in your tower
Climb back to it after the hour has passed and the moment is gone
The sun can't stay up for too long
Put me in the back of your pocket
Write songs about me and relive it
Hold on all you want but I don't need you forever I have you right now
If I'm asked I'll say I felt breathless
The clouds reflected off your dash deserve all the credit
My ode to the Midwestern sky wrote itself out clearly
Pick a crease of the fields in the distance and bury me there
Elba, please, keep my heart in your tower
Climb back to it after the hour has passed and the moment is gone
The sun can't stay up for too long
Put me in the back of your pocket
Write songs about me and relive it
Hold on all you want but I don't need you forever I have you right now
When It Comes Time For Leaving
When it comes time for leaving
There'll be no slack in my rope
I'll be keeping my grip, I'll be holding your hand
Grasping ounces of hope
When it comes time for leaving
Where is the door?
When I'm barefoot and ragged, where are the woods
That act as my floor?
When it comes time for leaving
I'll lead the way
With you in my rearview, I'll rig the mast
As I sail away
When it comes time for leaving
You know my name
I've skipped rocks on your shores, I've dug stones from your sand
And I feel when you ache
When it comes time for leaving
Say what you'll say
There's a chill in the wind, there's a bite in the air
But I'll be okay
When you're on the run
When the tides don't change
When the ocean is vast
When you've broken the glass in your picture frames
When life isn't fair
When home is a mess
When the rock is turned over
When you wake up feelings that you've put to rest
I'll be here, I'll be okay
I can pull on my branches and keep the rain out of your way
When it comes time for leaving
Halfway to Colorado
Your suitcase has been packed for a week
I know you won’t admit it, but it’s true
The alcohol has forced me to speak
Through tears I’m tryna see your point of view
Denver could not have been any farther
I can’t make you give up what you want
Now I can’t hear the word ‘Colorado’ without thinkin’ about your hands
And I’ve smashed every empty bottle like the way you smashed all our plans
If you came back home tomorrow, you would beg for a second chance
But you won’t
You were halfway to Colorado when we spoke
I don’t know when you got the call
But I know you had your reasons to keep it to yourself
I didn’t make it easy at all
I know you had been dreaming, I never gave you help
Denver, I’m a mess when I’m not with her
Please don’t let her fill your cup with gin
Now I can’t hear the word ‘Colorado’ without thinkin’ about your hands
And I’ve smashed every empty bottle like the way you smashed all our plans
If you came back home tomorrow, you would beg for a second chance
But you won’t
You were halfway to Colorado when we spoke
So I’m drivin’ to Colorado, I’m not stopping along the way
There’s a goddamn empty bottle that’s taking up your space
I know you said not to follow, you were leaving to run away
So I won’t
I’ll go lose myself in the Colorado smoke
Smoke & Whiskey
I cried so hard when I finally left for Denver
I cried so hard when I loaded up the car
He threw a fit, said he’d be fine in a bit
With heavy eyes, he walked on towards the bar
I cried so hard when I told him I was leaving
I cried so hard when I said it’s ‘cause of you
Colorado tracks left me looking at my past
So my first night I got drunk and sang the blues
Ooowee! Leaving feels so wrong when the guilt drones longer
And I’ve never seen someone fail so hard at being stronger
Your words painted pictures that I couldn’t frame
In our house where you broke that bottle and lost your game
You took the back of my mind and pushed it forwards
You took the tip of my tongue and cut it off
You broke my heart, ripped off band aids in the dark
And you still dare to say that this is Denver’s loss
Ooowee! Leaving feels so good when the road is louder
Than your voice saying I fucked up and you couldn’t be prouder
My hands on your mind were all I ever wanted
But instead yours stayed stained with gin that left you haunted
Leave me on this road to nowhere I’ll keep going
Till I find another man who drinks to find his home in
These mountains and these valleys filled with smoke & whiskey
I’m not comin’ back ‘cause I’m halfway there, I don’t care if you miss me
Trying to Get Home (when you're under the influence)
I thought about you in the midst of the whirlpool
You’re good at keeping your cool
You know that I’m not
Tonight I washed whiskey down with a shiver
Your hands as the usual chase
Were absent and locked in a box
I’m twirling myself around and around out in the open
It don’t feel the same when we’re not running free dancing over the ocean
And I know there’s no beauty in trying to get home when you’re under the influence
But there’s beauty in the way that you talk about it
I thought about you even after you left me
My heart filling heavy
With dust that your tracks left behind
Tonight I washed whiskey down with some lemon
It stung and it ached like your venom
But the taste burned your lips off of mine
I’m driving myself around and around right where you left me
It feels like the day that I tried to leave town but you wouldn’t let me
And I know there’s no beauty in driving home drunk when you’re under the influence
But there’s beauty in the way that we’d fight about it
The Love That I Give
Where the hell can I go where they don't know your name?
Where can I catch a break from the letters that arrange themselves to spell out my pain?
Even home knows it well 'cause I just can't catch a clue
Even though I am beaten down, I'm still proud of and talk about you
I'm still proud of and talk about you
I'm no stranger to hurt, but I'm a stranger to this
Oh, this regret, and this torment, and ache, but in turn, I am proud of the love that I give
I am proud of the love that I give
And I'll let myself heal in the morning but for now I can't breathe anymore
Next time that you leave, give a warning, or at least say goodbye at the door
I just don't want you to hate me and I don't want our story to end
It doesn't have to be easy but at least never leave as a friend
I stripped all the wood from the cabinets and I broke down the glass chandelier
It left a bad scar when the glass hit but I'll keep it as a souvenier
I can't scrape myself from the memories and I won't burn this house to the ground
'Cause even after all, after everything, I'd still bleed out to have you around
I'd still bleed out to have you around
With Its Lace And Its Aching
I ran with my boots on the pavement
My white skirt draped with its lace and its aching
I ran southwest back to where you weren’t waiting for me to come home
I screamed at the glass in the windows
I broke my knees crawling out of the shadows
I didn’t know you’d be angry and hollow for having me here
I threw myself onto the concrete
She picked me up and we walked down the dark street
With dust in our eyes, we shook off what we could be if we just left town
I pushed myself into your city
You took me down you thought I took you with me
I never planned to be part of your history, but yet here I am
I’m still so fed up with this anger
I’m fed up with the villain I made her
I could’ve warned her or I could’ve changed her, but I never would
$100
Landed in the airport, drank a beer at 10am
Okay, I’ll admit it, not a beer but let’s pretend
That champagne and orange juice make me sound like half the man I’d like to be
$100 richer than we we re a week ago
And we spent it all on alcohol, blew it out the window
And we laughed in your bedroom about the things we would’ve done to get that money
Oh, I unplugged my phone
And I went back to Colorado, walked the dog beside the bones
Oh, my third place home
I was nothing but a child there, like a friend from long ago
Bell left on friday after 5 days in the town
We pulled over on the interstate 10 miles from Ava’s house
And I cried despite the fact we haven;t really hugged since we were 12 years old
Wyatt told me I would be on tour within a year
Less than a week after the Denver show and I shed a couple tears
Oh it’s hard to lose your friends to bigger things, but it’s fun to watch them grow
Oh, the room was full
Wyatt finally got a mic and our old lovers saw the show
Oh, how we outgrow
All of the different lives behind us and we soldier on home
Oh, we played those stupid games
Bell finished college and we toasted with rosé
Oh, things are not the same
As they were back in Boston, thank god! I’m glad they changed
No More Than A Memory
You say I’m no more than a memory, I say you’re no more than the sea
You say I’m no more than a sister, well how could you say that to me?
I say you’re no more than the shoreline, no more than the gale force that blows
And you hear me no more than a whisper, like someone who you used to know
How will it feel to leave? To look back, to capsize, to shutter and feel all the grief
Will I finally feel clean? Grass stains and old live take up spots that I’ll never see
You’d swear on my shores like the bible, you’d beg with your face in my hands
All covered in dirt, with promises burnt you would light up a fire in my sands
How will it feel to leave? To look back, to capsize, to shutter and feel all the grief
Will I finally feel clean? Grass stains and old live take up spots that I’ll never see
Both Of My Arms
My high of the day: my favorite song played and I got you to sing with me
You helped me make history
Do you remember the rain? The swing dance and laughter and mountains and whiskey
We snuck off in the trees
We stayed up to watch the stars for hours
Fell asleep and missed them by three
If I had the chance I’d buy you flowers
But all that I can give you are trees
I know I’m meant to be loved, but it just don’t feel that way
I’m sick of breaking my bones and becoming your home
When I cant take up my own space
And I know I’m meant to be held, but I’d always rather let go
With both of my arms wrapped so tightly around what's inside me
I don’t have room for your ghost
I cried when you left, I cried when I went back and laid where we slept that night
I could still picture your eyes
Your handprints remain on the mispronounced syllables of my last name
I loved it the same
Everything is dull and gray without you
I’ll write it down now so i don’t forget
I’ll look for you in every room I walk through
In every person I have never met
I know I’m meant to be loved, but it just don’t feel that way
I’m sick of breaking my bones and becoming your home
When I cant take up my own space
And I know I’m meant to be held, but I’d always rather let go
With both of my arms wrapped so tightly around what's inside me
I don’t have room for your ghost
Please Don't Cry, You Have Swag by Hot Mulligan
I missed you when I thought we shared some interests
Old songs and games we'd share
You're not who lived in my head
The afterglow started fading when I left
You said it wouldn't make a difference whether we could be together or not
But if you wanna talk about the things you did
Well, I'll be here and I can handle it
So come back strong or not at all
It's up to you to fix your faults
Okay, you think I matter less than politics
When all I want is fresh paint
Before we ever would've talked like this
At a loss, a bloodstain
Ruined fabric that you used to wear
A promenade, slow pace
As we realize we're going to different places
But if you wanna talk about the things you did
I won't be there you won't grow out of it
The cord's restrung, the feeling's gone
It's all your fault, I'm moving on
Hey, you said it wouldn't make a difference whether we can be together or not
Stay home, stay home
I wanted to keep you but feel it's likely you don't share my resolve (hey)
I guess it doesn't make a difference whether we can stand each other or not
Stay home, stay home
You could call it courtesy that I tried to keep you here for this long (hey)
I guess it doesn't fucking matter if we ever see each other or not
Stay home, stay home
Stay home, stay home
Boston
Boston, you lost me in the flood
Boston, you changed the ones I loved
I couldn't leave you even if I tried
You see the ghost of march behind my eyes
I’m more grown up now, I know that things always change
And the sun’s out, though I’m still a fan of the rain
I'm not a kid anymore
I fit in well here when I’ve mean things to say
When I’m angry, when you try to get in my way
I’m not a kid anymore
Boston, oh who was I before?
You took my heart and laid it on your shore
Some days you’re warm and you are kind
But others you’re the bane of my demise
But I’m more grown up now, I know that things always change
And the sun’s out, though I’m still a fan of the rain
I'm not a kid anymore
I don’t think I’m ready to get off and drive in my car
Slow and steady, I start to forget who you are
I’m not a kid anymore
I’ve made bad choices but they don’t reflect where I’ve been
I’ve fought battles just to find somewhere to live
I’m not a kid anymore
​
Oh, I'm not a kid anymore
Oh, I'm not a kid anymore
Right After It Happened
My eye never healed from that concert in April
The pain was preferred to all of the hurt that you left on the table
Your eyes never changed, they always looked sorry
Gentle and mild, heavy and vile and too fixed on your coffee
We’re in the same time zone for once in our lives
And you’re drowning me out like I’m one with the tides
Right after it happened, a part of me died
Right after it happened, a part of me died
My heart never healed from the hurt and nostalgia
From the life we had built, you put the world on stilts to get me out of the water
I fight for the strength to speak of you kindly
I think if I do you’ll follow the clues and then you’ll come find me
We’re in the same time zone for once in our lives
And you’re drowning me out like I’m one with the tides
Right after it happened, a part of me died
Right after it happened, a part of me died
Right after it happened, a part of me died
Right after it happened, a part of me died
I wake every day, but I don’t feel alive
Right after it happened, a part of me died
Even After That
Buried in Montana's bitter cold
Lays the love I promised till we’re old
There ain’t no other ending on the page
I loved my friend, I loved him and he went away
Oh, I knew you, bastard in the house
A helpful man who loved the band and loved his family loud
He danced with his arms out and spun me on whim
There ain’t no point leavin’ if he ain’t coming with
Past the ocean deep in summer’s tide
I try to frame and praise our last goodbye
I’m sorry that you went through so much pain
I wish that I could take it all away
Oh, I see you proudly as you are
You who got the keys and bought it before you learned to drive that car
Don’t matter how much time has passed I’ve memorized your face
And I’ll be waiting here for when you come on back one day
Oh, the person that you are
I could find you with a blindfold on if you spin me in the dark
You’re named after a mountain that I promise I will climb
There ain’t no point in thinkin’ if you’re not on my mind
There ain’t no point in clocks cause I love you all the time
There ain’t no point in growin’ up if you ain't there growin’ too
And there ain’t no point in me if I ain't got you
Wash Away
ft. The Brazen Youth
One day I'll tell you that I see life in your eyes
I see home in your wild and your brittle Montana skies
One day I'll tell you I wish that you’d never left
I wish that time had been wiser and let us hold on past the end
If I get the chance to pull you in close
My hands in your pocket, your hand on my throat
I won't let go of your old-handed heart
The rocks in the cliffside, the light in the dark
No I won't wash away with the tides
One day I’ll visit and it won’t be like before
I’ll have my watch on the nightstand and you’ll leave your shoes by the door
One day I’ll miss you but you'll be out in the yard
You will ask how my day was and I will let go of my guard
If I get the chance to pull you in close
My hands in your pocket, your hand on my throat
I won't let go of your old-handed heart
The rocks in the cliffside, the light in the dark
No I won't wash away with the tides
Tiny Montana Town
I’m not looking forward to leaving your timezone
My lips on your chin and your hand on my backbone
I cling to your soft words, I bathe in your shadow
Cause when you’re not here I just sing to your echo
I love how you’re honest, I love how you hold me
I love how I found you when I wasn’t even looking
I love that we’ve grown up together but separately
Cause you know where I’m from, and I know how your heart beats
I see a house, I see your family
I see a start to us breathing in easily
I see some land where we can run irresponsibly
A dog in the yard you can walk when you’re mad at me
I see the light in your eyes when I come around
A house on the edge of a tiny Montana town
You’ll work on the mountain, I’ll see you for dinner dear
I’ll be on the porch writing songs for myself to hear
That night in the summer I realized at our old spot
At the tent on the cliffside held down by a few rocks
That I could die thankful in the place that I found you
And I know we’re both kids but I’ve seen more than enough proof
I see a light at the end of the tunnel here
A place on the map I can’t live without being near
A song in my head where the static has disappeared
An endless supply of my wine and your favorite beer
I see the light in your eyes when the sun goes down
The view from the porch in the tiny montana town
“The things i would do for you” screamed it a thousand times
I’ll wait for the day we aren’t dreading the next goodbye
Must've Just Been A Ghost
One bridge and the end of a lifetime
New friends more than a lifeline
In love just to kill time
It’s nearly winter, but where is the snow?
Thought I saw ice on the river, must’ve just been a ghost
Late nights tryna write the song backwards
Fist fights, cause that’s just how the crowd works
The flowers on the old fridge, the beauty in pain
I thought I would die on our old fire escape
Leaving, why am I leaving?
If I cry every time, when is it worth it to leave home?
Needing a place made for grieving
There’s a comfort in being pulled under
And not being able to face it alone
Walking away from the old house
Thanking the way that things worked out
We danced in the kitchen, we slept on the roof
I played a good show and I was loved and I had the proof
Leaving, why am I leaving?
If I cry every time, when is it worth it to leave home?
Needing a place made for grieving
There’s a comfort in being pulled under
And not being able to face it alone
With The Band
I’m with the band again
And I left you in the dust
We were all in Michigan
And I was such a goddamn fuck up
I let it happen, I disappeared
I left with the band again
But was it worth living my biggest fear?
I’m with the band again
I tell them all about you
As we drive through Oregon
And I try to face the hard truth
That I'm five miles from your new house, but I don’t exist to you now
I’m with the band again
And I let the van get loud
I choke back tears as I tell them all about you
Like you’re still here
And I know that we don’t fight now but I miss you like a child
And I like to talk about you just to keep your name around
They ask me how long I’ve loved you
Like it’s easy
But there’s no way to measure and this storm is hard to weather
And you pulled up the anchor and I can’t find the solid ground
I’m a mess again
And I stayed out too late
I told Grace that you’d have fun if you were here
And she said, “that’s the saddest thing you could say”
You could be happy, but I don’t have a clue
I’m a mess again
But I’d clean up for you
Rope Swing
It’s two in the morning and I’m about to miss this dreaded flight
I’m deep into mourning the person you were before this fight
Hands on my pillow clutching remains of your presence here
If you were a dog you’d have a soft bark but a vicious bite
Your apology crushes me
If you’re gonna say more I'm insisting
Don’t put a rope swing on a dead tree
The branches will splinter your memory
The cable will fray and the wood will all rot
The pain from the fall will be all that you’ve got
Looking back now I feel like a child who lost her doll
How can you say you’re a phone call away but not come when I call
And call I did, like a fool with the wind tryna sing through a storm
But you know what they, you lose them how you get them after all
Your apology crushes me
If you’re gonna say more I'm insisting
Don’t put a rope swing on a dead tree
The branches will splinter your memory
The cable will fray and the wood will all rot
The pain from the fall will be all that you’ve got
Don’t put a rope swing on a dead tree
Don’t loosen my chains then forbid my release
Don’t be mad, you yearned for a writer
Don’t say you’ll come back, you’ll turn into a liar
Don’t put a rope swing on a dead tree
Don’t cling to my branches, you’ll break me
The Old House
It’s strangely familiar
The feelings I get when I’m here again
Like finding a picture
Of a long lost treasure or a dear old friend
It’s something like sadness
Mixed with a tinge of nostalgia
And yes, time it passes
But when it does, does it take all of ya?
I would love to go back to Montana
I would love to see all that you saw in me
Way back before I was abandoned, our lives were planned
There was home in Montana
He said, “Sam, you have no idea
How much it meant for me to have you here
The mountains here need ya
And this place is only special with someone sincere
The future is scary
But you will be with me through all of it”
All that varied
And I guess we left home as a parting gift
I would love to go back to Montana
I would love to see all that you saw in me
Way back before I was abandoned, our lives were planned
There was home in Montana
I would love to go back to the old house
It happened, it’s real, and that counts for me
The flowers and paint on the canvas, the walls made of maps
There was home in Montana
You showed me the place that taught you everything you know
But what I saw in you was a person to call home
Now I’ve found my way back to Montana
And I stand in this crowd and I look for you
He tells me that he’s a good dancer
But I don’t believe him cause he doesn’t dance like you
I’m twirling around in our old bar
And I’m drying my eyes in the bathroom
My new life is following shadows down your old backroads
That lead to Montana
There was home in Montana
Our lives were planned
There was home in Montana
Emma
Let’s get another pitcher, one more down the hatch before we go
Someone asked for a picture, I didn’t know which one of you to show
You used to look so beautiful when I could still stand your face
But now this is a funeral and I’m left layin’ flowers on the grave
Mhmm
We were tied together, everyone around us said so
I hate the phrase ‘for the better’, ‘cause how people who don’t know us really know?
Now I’m too drunk in Seattle and my girlfriend doesn’t know how much I’m talkin’ about you
And I know you’re with someone else now but if I were there, I wonder who you’d choose
What you gave was not what you promised
And what we made was far from progress
You broke your part of the deal
And you reopened all the scars that had healed
You cried on your last night here
I should’ve risked it all said, “don’t leave me, don’t fly to Missouri
Don’t tell me what you’re up to and don’t tell me how you’re feeling
Don’t act like this is something to dispose of, I won’t let you
I won’t tolerate that he thinks he can love you like I love you”
Cause I love you
I might not know the half of it, but you sure as hell don’t know it either
And you won’t know the pain of being home where I was raised to see him be there
You’re bringing home somebody to the place we started loving each other
But I love you too damn much to fuck this up for you, so I’ll just sit and suffer
Grass Stained
An ode to everything you are to me
Vibrant, harmless aching honesty
The wind beneath my wings and more
The scuffed up boards of a hardwood floor
Our soaking wet clothes and your whiskey breath
A promise that I’d stay and that I’ve always kept
The bar we never should’ve been in
The porch where all our pasts were forgiven
Too drunk to make up, not drunk enough to sleep
Reminding ourselves that we’re on the same team
A forgiveness, a question, a torch and a fight
Oh, the grass stained feeling that this has always felt right
Salt, coated on my hands and toes
I’d marry you, right here, on the Oregon Coast
From the backseat in the truck bed
To the mess that you’ve made in my head
The stumbling footsteps through the artwork in winter
The unkempt feeling that I know we’re not quitters
The church on the hill with the armor
A beer after all of this hard work
The fact that I’ll never love anyone more
Oh, the lives we’ve lived in the house with no doors
A hail mary, an answer, a dirt road at night
Oh, the grass stained that this has always felt right
Burning Season
It’s burning season in Oregon
You taught me about this
You said that they burn, and they burn, and they burn when the plants are dead
It’s burning season
And I cry when I sing
That comes with grieving the person you were when I carved your initial into my ring
The leaves are all gone, the winters’s here
The days push on past and I haven’t moved since you disappeared
The hardest part is that I remember it all
The burning of flowers when you were a kid at the end of fall
It’s burning season
And I’m at sea with it still
That comes with needing, needing
To know how you left but said that you love me and always will
Oh, the leaves are all gone and the winter’s here
The days push on past and the reason I speak is in case you hear
The hardest part is that I don’t hate you at all
No, and I’d leave me too if I could
I can’t blame that you didn’t call
Burn it away, let ash soak the ground
I know that you drink cause you let me down
Find someone new to take up my space
Pretend like we never planned to share a last name
Deep in the woods of the oregon coast
I try to find peace in the story you told
Old flowers burn to make room for the new
But you were not something I planned to lose, lose